Terran Stellar Navy › Forums › Personal Logs › Personal Log: Commander Donovan; 21821-2239
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23/08/2021 at 17:07 #33414DonovanParticipant
Computer, begin recording.
Personal log, Commander Donovan Árón; 21821-2239
I don’t know if I’m going crazy, or if the rest of the division is. I need to try and sort this out, and the best way I can think of is to record my thoughts. Maybe it will somehow make sense after I sleep on this.
The Senior Officer meeting went well – a couple of us were a few minutes late arriving, though. I don’t believe that is significant, as it was myself and Lt. Commander Xansta, not Captain Evans. In fact, Captain Evans was otherwise occupied and was excused from attending… no connection there.
Business of the day was conducted normally – updates to the Officers Handbook and Officers Code of Conduct discussed; new department documents in the works; the usual. Still nothing out of the ordinary.
Opening sim was to focus on our narrow-beam communication between ships and CIC. Looks like the big brass has something planned for the division that’s going to require radio silence, and they want to make sure we’re ready. They’re probably still talking about the errant transmission coming from the 4th Light during one of our “silent” missions. Mr. Calon was temporarily assigned to Lancer, as we condensed crews to ensure each ship had a dedicated Comms Officer. Emphasis was placed on reviewing established communications guidelines and abbreviations. This was a bit different, but definitely not odd or strange… just… out of the ordinary.
I think the first thing that was really out of the ordinary was the beginning of the first mission. Information was gleaned from the black box that 4th Light had recovered from just outside the event circle where the Charger was trying to control the reaction. There was a personal log of an unknown captain from an unknown ship… Group Leader Sarrison aboard the Battle Cruiser Intemperment?! Temporal index referenced?? He had high praise for his crew but seemed tormented by the loss of some of them… the ghosts still haunt the ship and the experienced crew.
Apparently, this ship was serving during a war that had already lasted 70 years. I don’t recall such a lengthy war. They had discovered some phenomenon… what did he call it? Monroe Point? A weak point in reality? Something akin to a jump point, I think. Something that might help the war if they could block it? I’m not sure what bothered me more – hearing of things that don’t match my memory or hearing the grim acknowledgement that he’d soon lose more crew… that he must make more “ghosts” before they were done.
This was just the start of the strangeness, I believe. There was also a brief moment when officers couldn’t remember where we would deploy from. At least we’d be in somewhat friendly space, even though one of our bases was having issues. Then, we discover that for some reason, we had to rendezvous with our marines. Why they weren’t already aboard when we were ready to start the mission is a bit puzzling. Didn’t they get their orders in time? Thankfully, our mission wasn’t an emergency deployment – the extra time needed to wrangle our marines on board could have been disastrous.
During our stand-down, the Senior officers discussed continuing our Commanding Officer exchange for the second mission. I understand the benefits of taking command of another ship, along with her regular crew. Each crew already has an innate familiarity with their ship and it allows C.O.’s the opportunity to better understand the tactical and operational abilities of the other ships in the division. I know it’s helped me in the recent past, when Acting Division Command fell squarely on my shoulders just a few weeks back. This week, I would be taking Sabre out for the second mission, and her CO would command Lancer. I remember having a discussion with Lt. Snr. Graybeard about the difficulties he was experiencing trying to tune the engines to emulate Pirate emissions. I remember giving the command to Lt. Sketch to move us into position in the slingshot array. I remember getting familiar with her crew. I’d served among them before, but had not commanded them, yet. Suddenly, the crew were asking why I was there, like they were surprised to see me. Hadn’t we just been talking about the opportunities to play at being pirates? And what was that sound they were asking about? I needed to review the bridge recordings to see what all of their confusion was about.
Everything seemed more or less correct, until I listened to the briefing for the second mission. What a surprise when I heard the briefing when Fleet Captain Wise announced the Captain Evans would be commanding Sabre! Was that really me engaging with Lancer’s crew before we did our ready check? It certainly sounded like me, though I’ve always hated the recorded sound of my voice. I… or, is that “he”?… had the same humor, the same familiarity with Lancer’s crew. But, it wasn’t me! At least, that’s not the way I remember it happening! How could I remember so vividly each conversation I had on Sabre, but hear myself having conversations with my own crew?
And that sound…. That must be the sound Sabre’s crew were talking about. I hadn’t heard it before, but it shakes me to my core. I’ve listened to it a few times, now. Each time, I get the same feeling like someone has walked over my grave. It’s hard to describe.
I’m going to have to keep pondering this. Alone, for now. I don’t think it would be wise to share this with too many people, or I’m going to find myself station-side on some doctor’s couch. Or worse, being poked and prodded with medical equipment… or worse, yet… finding myself in Level 3, Section 5. Again.
Computer – encrypt this with Donovan Cypher Theta Xi 311 and store in secure folder. Save copy to the external data storage device. Generate hard copy. I need something to hold on to that won’t be changed.
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