you need to edit the narration here and there to change from “we” (which came from your original log, I think) to “they”, or “the ship”, or “the crew”, as needed.
@mundy Thanks! You’re correct. I found some instances were that was left in, since I shifted the perception.
On a side note, in some cases I used the forms of “we” that designated the narrator as human. For example:
The Caltrons are a wondrous race of aliens, so unlike us humans. We’re not even sure if they travel in those weird polygonal spaceships or if they themselves are those ships. Yet their method of long range space travel could be the most curious piece of information we have gathered about the Caltrons. Blaze had heard about these aliens at the TSN Academy, but there was not much to be said, due to our limited knowledge and understanding of these hostile lifeforms.
This could all be written like this, as well:
The Caltrons are a wondrous race of aliens, so unlike humans. The TSN’s scientists were not even sure if they travel in those weird polygonal spaceships or if they themselves are those ships. Yet their method of long range space travel could be the most curious piece of information humans have gathered about the Caltrons. Blaze had heard about these aliens at the TSN Academy, but there was not much to be said, due to limited knowledge and understanding of these hostile lifeforms.
Which do you think is better? Do you think I should write as if the narrator is not human? That could be interesting, especially if I put in comments on “silly human thoughts and actions”, but it would change the tone a little bit. Kind of like “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”… I think I actually prefer writing with narrator as a human, since we can connect with the characters easier than if the narrator was a distant something. The current narrator seems more like someone riding on Blaze’s shoulder, able to peer into his head through the ears.
When the elevators doors opened with an almost silent sigh and Blaze stepped on the bridge, Verok slowly turned his gaze from the ship’s data shown on the big main screen to see who had just arrived on his bridge.