[Game] Your ship exploded, explain it to the Fleet Captain.

[Maurice Allard]

It appears the Hawk had a Rapid Unscheduled Disassembly, sir.

[Aramond]

Sir, that Torgoth Leviathan had surrendered. You can review it in the logs of the Raven’s black box. I couldn’t have known they were lying.

[Lewis Remmick]

Sir, we appear to have lost sensor contact with the enemy. And the engine room. And the hull.

[Quinn]

The ship’s computer has been begging for an upgrade for weeks, sir. I believe she may have decided to take matters into her own hands when she refused to release the parking break when in the midst of enemy beam arcs…

[Adele Mundy]

There was a Toaster Malfunction in the ship’s galley.

[Xavier]

Yes admiral, I am calling for a fleet wide review on toaster safety. I believe toasters pose a credible threat to all TSN ships.

• This reply was modified 8 years, 8 months ago by Xavier.

[Fish Evans]

Sir, I regret to inform that during a recent unscheduled life pod drill the Ship was towed for being double Parked.

[Maurice Allard]

Gebbens, sir, Gebbens…

[Leonard Hall]

Some rookie mistook the minefield for a row of “power ups” again…

[John van Leigh]

My best one was “well, I ordered to cross a minefield at warp 4, but I forgot it was in the middle of a nebula”.

[Anonymous]

You should have boosted your warp systems to 300% deal Pino. xD

[Adele Mundy]

Sir, it appears that one of the D20s in the enlisted crew’s game supplies was actually an Alien Artefact of Unimaginable Age…

[John van Leigh]

Well, not enough time to accelerate. It wasn’t my brightest moment.

[Leonard Hall]

Mundy, was the D20 labeled ZZ at any point in its existence?

[Maurice Allard]

BBBBZZZZTTTTT sorry si- BZZZZZZT -e appear to hav- SZZZZZT malfunction.

[Author]

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